my mental fatigue is overwhelming

So I read this story today while I was talking to Natalie on the computer. It was slash (obviously) and it involved Patrick Stumph and Pete wentz and Pete was a merman. It was really really cute and I'm basically obsessed with it right now. But that's beside the point. I feel like an obnoxious fangirl right now. Ew.

My brain basically feels like it's going to implode. It's not the kind of implode when you sleep too much. It's the kind well, okay, I like to think of my brain as a computer. Computers are stored with a certain amount of memory and when all of your computer memory is used up it runs really slow and has a hard time functioning. That's what my brain feels like right now basically. Like, I need to clean it out. I have all this information that is completely useless. Like my ability to quote whole scenes from movies like say anything and fight club and the chumscrubber. Actually, max said the ones from say anything are quite useful when I want to get some ass. Too bad I'm not a guy. And don't really want any ass. I'm more of an eyes kind of person anyways. This weekend I have done nothing but play the Sims 2. Actually, I went outside today for a bit because it was gorgeous. In my opinion it was the first 'springy' day we've had this year. I kept my window open for the whole day Because it was just springish outside. That makes me happy. Spring and fall are probably my favorite two seasons because they're not too hot and not too cold. Summer is way hot and way overwhelming. Too much is going on usually and I just hate humidity. Winter is okay I guess, I like cold. Uncle Rich says it's good sleeping weather and like people who are close to me know, I enjoy sleeping, a lot. It's my favorite hobby.

I like when I'm eating something and find two things stuck together. Like two skittles, or two cheese its. It's like an extra special bonus. You can share them with your biff, or you can just eat them yourself. I like sharing them with people because it brings me closer to that person. Speaking of biffs, Max and Broc were trying to find something to watch on the tv today and so they go by the discovery health channel and there's this pregnancy show. Broc goes: "Whoa, let's watch this." you know, thinking they're going to get some taco action or something. Well, what they saw will scar them for the rest of their lives. Natalie said it probably turned them both gay.

whoa

yes, this is what I am writing about today. the man who is pregnant. I was in the bathroom putting my eyeliner on this mourning and I hear Courtney in the living room and she's like "whoa. a guy is pregnant." so naturally, I was like "nu uh." but yes. he is pregnant. technically, he's a woman well not really actually. I'm sure the men with sex reassignment surgery don't like being called women. I guess he used to be a woman (<--- you can tell that he's a woman. look how big his nips are.)but then didn't want to be one anymore so now he's a man. If I was a man, hypothetically speaking, okay, if I was a man and I was having all that morning sickness missed period shit I wouldn't think to like, go get a pregnancy test and take it. But he did, anyways, back with my story because I kind of got off track, okay, if I was a man and was having all that pregnancy stuff happen- WHOA WAIT! if I was a man I wouldn't be having my period because men don't get their period so... this is too much for me. OKAY, so disregarding whether he gets his period or whatever so I'd go to the store and I'd get one of those little things that you pee on. Then I'd pee on it... with my penis (even though I'm sure this guy didn't have a penis because he was like made with a vagina. and I was watching this show about sex reassignment surgery on the tv and the guy was like "it's easier to dig a hole than make a pole... ANYWAYS)... and then it would show up blue or with a little plus sign or something then I'd go and read the directions and be like "okay hmmm what does little blue plus sign mean?" then I'd see what it meant and then it would say positive. then I'd just be like "shit."

Anyways, I guess i'm happy for this guy because he said that he was happy that he was pregnant. A lot of people are like "ew no blehblehbleh gross.." but idk. I mean, idk. I'm just like. Whoa. pregnant man.

Drop Beats Not Bombs

So, it's easter and we're getting ready to go to aunties in literally like, ten minutes but I thought that I'd update this because I probably won't get a chance to later or anything because I'll be playing the sims. So, yeah, it's easter. Back to that. It's only 12:07 and I've already got like $30+... so that's good. I need to get the new P!ATD cd. Why? Becuase it's going to be amazing. I also have to possibly get one of the sims expansion packs because.... that's going to be amazing too.

I went to the mall with Caroline on Friday. That was pretty good, even though we were only there for a little under two hours. I got the old Motion City Soundtrack CD, new headphones, a P!ATD poster and some tacos. Do you know taco is another word for vaginasc? There's a whole funny story behind that, but I'm not going to tell about it because it's kind of disturbing. There were a lot of it's at the mall (an it is a person that looks like a boy and a girl at the same time) It was really weird because some of them, if they were guys, were pretty hot.

I'm really really sick right now. Which is weird because I don't get sick. Ever. Like, I mean, I'll get stomach aches and stuff but I never throw up. The last time I did was on thanksgiving break last year when we were on vacation. That sucked. Anyways, I don't like being sick and even though I'm actually sick this time, mom still won't let me stay home. I hate going to school more than basically anything in the whole entire universe. I just want it to be over.

what a world

I made a list of people I could live without. There were a lot of people on it... like, a lot of people. I contemplated putting "you know who" on it, but then if "you know who" ever saw it she'd probably be pissed. I didn't put Nick on it, because he keeps me amused. I only put people that I actually talk to though, like, someone that I've said more than like, a sentence too.
I wish people would stop telling me about all their gay problems because, you know, I have my own. If you don't get a response to me about things then chances are, I don't care. Which... you know, I usually don't care about other people but that doesn't mean you should feel bad. I might still love you. I just don't care about all of your problems.
We got this new shampoo and I think it's supposed to smell like strawberries but it smells kind of like salt and I ran my hand through my hair and now that smells like salt and salt isn't the best smell ever, you know. We also have irish springs bar soap and that obviously smells amazing so they kind of cancel eachother out.
I'm downloading a bunch of sim people and I'm going to have us all live in this house and it's going to be pretty crazy. I'm going to especially, before I do anything else, make a mon sim. Why? because Mon was not on the people I could live without list becuase I cannot live without her. Even in sim land. Seriously. And maybe if she's lucky I'll make a Jared Padalecki sim for her to have babies with.

end.

take it easy (love nothing)

so more about ancient peni. I know that I talk about it too much but it's not my fault people back then were obsessed with it. Mrs. Welch was showing us pictures from when she went to Rome and Pompeii and I guess that the people there thought that peni was good luck. So everyone had a statue of one outside their house. And whenever they'd leave they would rub the peni for good luck. I just basically burst out laughing while she was talking about it. I mean, put it all together. "Rub the peni for good luck!" No. I will not. I will not rub the peni. Why? that is wrong. The people in Pompeii were also whores, like, literally. They were considered a brothel city. Which means like. Whores. Anyways, enough about the peni whores. School today sucked ass. Why? everyone in A lunch are fucking annoying pieces of shit. That's why. In case you were wondering.

I kind of wanted to go on the school trip to Paris and London next year because it sounds really fun. Except it's roughly $2,500... so that's a negative. Waste of money. I do need to get a job though... like, badly. I need money. That's why. I owe the library like $15. It sucks pretty bad because I can't get my report card until I pay it and I don't have the $15 to pay it at the moment. So no report card. I would like to just have money on me all the time though. That would be really cool. I hate being dependant on other people for money and stuff.

that joke isn't funny anymore

it's three oh-fucking-clock in the morning and why aren't I sleeping? I'll tell you why. I never sleep. I've tried everything to make myself sleep and nothing is happening. I do certain things so frequently they wear off and don't work anymore. & I'm sitting here in my bedroom, bored and sick as hell, listening to the smiths because I don't have anything better to be doing with my life.

I'm tired of people talking about how bad their fake anxiety is, because until you're had a real anxiety attack you know nothing. That's getting really annoying.

I just watched this show on the national geographic channel about Atlantis and if it was really real or not. I'd like to believe it's real, because one time I had a dream about me and Max discovering it. Like, I don't even know, we were scuba diving or something and we found a city...? that's what I remember of the thing. Also, we came up and were on this boat and were like "We discovered Atlantis! Whoa!" Anyways, that's beside the point. All the people on the show were like: "Atlantis was never there, blehblehbleh." Well I've got news for you. YES IT WAS.

I didn't go to school today. Why? because I couldn't even get out of bed because I was so sick. Then dad was here for some reason and he was like, slapping me in the head, trying to get my temperature and was like "You don't look very sick. How did you get your mom to let you stay home?" I just shrugged, then went back to bed. And slept until about two. Then I wrote some more in my story, then I laid back down and played my game boy. Then me and max watched some movies (Alice in wonderland, James and the giant peach, beetlejuice ext..)

anyways, I'm going to go play some more game boy and try to sleep. I'll probably update tomorrow with something uninteresting about my uninteresting life.

watch your mouth, your speech is slurred enough

I don't have much to write about today. besides, like, the Romans. we watched this time life movie about them today and I was like, well, if they're anything like the Greeks they'll probably be interesting. because the Greeks were interesting people, believe it or not. anyway, the only remotely interesting thing about the Romans was that they were whores. and that gladiator also means erect penis, which associates the roman gladiators with erect peni. I fell asleep during the last fifteen minutes of the movie, then I'd keep waking up and checking my watch and realizing that I'd only been sleeping for about thirty seconds. also, during lunch me and Kayla went and left notes for Mon and Kelley, because we're secretive like that.

I'm definitely heading out to see Horton hears a Who next Friday. why? because it looks amazing basically. I used to be obsessed with Dr. Seuss, believe it or not. and in the movie there's this emo who named Jojo, so, that'll be cool.

I usually go to Sam when I think I have a medical condition. he's usually wrong about most of the stuff, but sometime he's right. his mom is a nurse. although, one time I told him that my skin was becoming transparent. he said that I was turning into a goldfish. never mind about this whole thing that I was just going to talk about because Samuel Bagala is not a reliable source.

I am cozy because I have fuzzy pants. goodnight.

the best part of believe is the lie

Mrs. Sherman isn't happy about the 'inappropriate' picture that I drew on my 'who killed the electric car' movie notes. I don't understand why... it was a good picture, I mean, like, raping is a very serious matter but when it involves tony lavato and pete wentz it's not that serious because you know that they both want it. badly. it's not like it was graphic or anything. there were no penises. is that the plural for penis? or is it like, peni? like... cacti. I think peni is a little less dangerous that cacti though, because cacti hurt. I have this mini cactus, and one time it was dark in my room and I was feeling around for the light switch and accidentally grabbed it. note to self: do not put cactus near light switch.

today I basically sat in my bedroom and watched all the harry potters. because my life is the saddest one you will ever know. but I think, well, at least I'm not like certain people I know who are trying to be people that they really aren't. that's annoying.

this week is my help week. Monday is going to be environment help, where I clean my room. Tuesday is going to be family help, where I'm not going to start any fights. Wednesday is going to be stinky help, where I give stink a bath and pedicure. Thursday is going to be academic help, where I get caught up on homework and stuff. and Friday is going to be self help. where I relax. it's going to be pretty nice I think, 'cause all of that stuff needs lots of help, really.

my story is coming along well, but I started a new one that I think has a better storyline. I write good story lines. I've got about two zillion in the back of my mind just waiting to be put on paper. I just don't get around to it, because I'm lazy. very lazy.

I'm tired of people just talking to me or being nice to me because they want something from me. like a cd or something. well, I'll tell you what, I'm not going to be doing any special shit for anyone unless they're: Max, Camille, Josh, Brock, Riley,Jimmy, Julia, Natalie, Shannon, Caroline, or Mon. because I've fucking had it with everyone else.

so it's valentines day, right? everyone's all lovelovelove I love you and stuff. Even meee, which is different. Joshua. Anyways, I don't like talking about valentines day becuase it's super tacky and disgusting and gross. Me and Mon went to p-quod today and we hung out with ms. kaufman which was nice because I love her. She said that the world wasn't going to end in 2012. I was relieved. Then I walked home through the woods and now I'm here. Talking to Julia. Not much has happened in the past few weeks I guess, at least nothing remotely interesting. Except, me and max think that riley and jimmy are like having gay buttsex. On account of, Jimmy is staying with Max and so Riley was there I guess and so Riley was in the guest bedroom and Jimmy was on the couch then I guess max got up to get some milk and jimmy wasn't on the couch then he walked to rileys room and there were funny noises. So he's like talking to me, right, on aim and he's like... wait, I'll just paste the conversation.

maxy pad 187: I was just waiting

maxy pad 187: idk what was going on in there

maxy pad 187: it sounded very sexual, like sex moans.

urban lifexdecay: well if jimmy and riley were fucking, that'd be the day...

urban lifexdecay: jimmy's not even gay though

urban lifexdecay: he's like. the straightest person out of all the guys in our whole group

maxy pad 187: thanks

urban lifexdecay: you're like the last person on the straighest person list. Sorry.

maxy pad 187: there is no need for bitchiness.

urban lifexdecay: I'm not being bitchy!

maxy pad 187: WHATEVER! okay, maybe they were just like massaging eachother.

urban lifexdecay: you know, that's probably it.

maxy pad 187: but like, what if they were doing it up the butt???

urban lifexdecay: what does it even matter max? are you mad becuase jimmy won't fuck you?

maxy pad 187: SHUT UP WHORE!

anyways, yeah, riley and jimmy might be fucking. That would be really weird, you know? like. weird.

beautiful release

I'm sitting here in my bedroom thinking about what the hell to write about in this god forsaken post, but you know what? there is nothing to write about because my life is a complete and total waste. I get up, go to school, come home and daydream mostly, then I go back to sleep. And I basically love every minute of it. Just because my life is extremely boring doesn't mean that I have to hate it. What I do is revolve my life around other things and people, then it's okay sometimes. I pay attention to what they do and take in their feelings, then everything is okay because I think 'well, at least I'm doing something with myself.'

hakuna matata

whelp. yep. midterms. They suck pretty bad but Ms. Ruhman's dad died so she wasn't there today so we just cheated anyways. The math one was okay... there were about 65 problems so each one was probably worth 1.5384615384615384615384615384615 (repeating). Yeah, dashboard calculator. So, if I get one wrong that will only be 1.5384615384615384615384615384615 taken off of a 100 point grade. I don't think it will be that bad. On a better note, my birthday's coming up. Presents are greatly appreciated. You don't have to get me a present though... just.... you know... presents? Yeah. We were going over our science midterm and every time Ms. Sherman would say 'petroleum' Kevin would say 'jelly'. It kind of reminded me of the conversation I had a long time ago with Jenni Milling about petroleum jelly used as old people lube.
Maxwell is forming a list of things that are a dead give away for gay people who are 'in the closet, but want to stay in the closet.' the 8th thing on the list is buying lube by the crate full. That one made me laugh pretty hard.
that's Wentz/Beckett love. I made it in art club.
I was sitting in my room and I was playing with a lighter and it basically exploded and the butane got all over me and it smelled weird... now my room smells weird.
We have that magnet on my refrigerator. I guess that's it for today: overwhelmed. Midterms and new schedules and not getting enough sleep.

Um, I think I have to be hospitalized

So, today was pretty fun. I went to art club and then me and Caroline went and climbed on this giant snow bank and we could basically see all of Scarborough. Then our butts were cold so we got off. After that, we went to the family dollar store and Caroline started dancing and this really weird lady said something to her but I don't remember what she said. It was weird though. Then, we decided that we were going to go to memorial park, and so we did. But I had to pee, so I went in the woods, but in the process I accidentally grabbed a pricker bush and got all kinds of cuts on my hands, which wasn't good at all because they hurt really bad now. Also, they're swelling up and turning purple. Which totally isn't good. After I peed, we went to the pond and played on the ice, well, Caroline played on the ice because I don't like ice. At all. I went on a little though. So, that was today pretty much.

<3 x 702730460

um, it's really cold out.

Have you ever noticed that when you're walking in really cold weather, your face gets cold and you don't even realize your nose is running? Yeah. That happened to me today. The snot or whatever dripped onto my lip and I'm like "EW!" So I slapped my hand over my face and wiped it off. It was embarrassing, even though no one was even near me. That doesn't matter.
I watched this movie called another gay movie, and it was funny. It was like the American Pie of gayness. Not that I'm gay or anything, I just like gay guys. They're hilarious. It was on this illegal movie watching website, that has pretty much ever movie ever imagined on it to watch. I'm probably going to watch the Chumscrubber next. It's sooo good... Speaking of movies, Rachel Coleman said that Juno was going to come out on the 21st. I'm unbelieveably happy becuase I've been waiting to see that since August pretty much. Mr. Paul said that the day before vacation was going to be the worst day in substitute history, becuase some of the teachers go on vacation and take that day off, and that means that the kids are going to be all like flipping out becuase it's vacation. I'm not going to be flipping out though. Becuase I don't flip out.
Shannon hasn't been in school for like a week and a half. She's probably going to fail the quarter which would be pretty bad. Well, I don't know if she's going to fail the quarter, but she might.
Mom's going to Colorado tonight to be with Aunt cuckie, because of the baby. She's going to be gone for pretty much two whole nights and I'm going to be left here with the kids and Paul. It's going to suck, because I don't think I've been away from mom for that long in a while. It's not going to be very good.
I watched Shreck the Third last night, which features John Krasinski as the voice of Lancealot. He's so hot. It was pretty cool, even though his part was probably only 30 seconds long. It was pretty much B.S. When we got our tests back in World Studies I got a 71 and Mon got a like... 94. I was flipping out. I was like BS MON! BS!, and Mrs. Welch was like pushing me back to my seat and I'm like "NO! BS!" but that was that pretty much.

numero uno

This is my first post on this site. Exciting? Yes. You know, I had an interesting conversation with Jenni Milling this evening. About petroleum jelly. Old people use it for lube. Isn't that gross? I think it's gross, becuase old people are like celibate. They do not fuck. That's just disgusting. I'm getting a horrible mental image right now that I'm trying to block, but it's like, not happening. I've realized that I'm indeed addicted to the computer. I completely change my myspace every day because I get bored of having the same layout. I change my song every ten minutes. It's really bad. Max says he's never seen anything like it. I can type 65 wpm. Which means words per minute. In case you didn't know that.

So we're definitly going to die in 2012 and I'm scared. I want to see past the age of 20, becuase like, what's the point of living now if I'm just going to die in fucking five years? I don't know either! It's pretty retarded. I hope it's not slow and painful, becuase that would suck ass. I hope it's just quick and I don't even realize what's happening. I'm probably going to hell though. Because I'm a horrible person. But that's beside the fact. What happens if I'm like the last person left in the universe? Like in I am Legend? That would suck. I'd probably save Stinky too. If she's still alive then, because who knows? She's got this weird thing on her back and I don't know what it is but it looks like a tumor. It scares me. What would I do without Stinky? Probably kill myself. That's what. We'd go play golf and try to find a cure for all the vampire zombie people. Or whatever they are.