THIS BLOG IS NO LONGER.
PLEASE VISIT MY LIVEJOURNAL:
http://broke-halo11.livejournal.com/

I'm laughing on the inside.

my mother asked me to make the from-the-box mashed potatoes for dinner

everyone complimented me; said they tasted great

what they didn't know was that I completely disregarded the directions on the box

mr. jones and me tell each other fairytales

Wow I haven't updated this in like half a month. I've been really busy with projects and quizzes and tests at school and stuff. One reason high school sucks so bad is because the teachers don't talk to each other and plan out when they're going to have projects and stuff. You can have four tests one week then none the next. It sucks pretty bad and is really overwhelming. On a better note, there's only about twenty seven days of school left. Not counting weekends and days off, but counting early release and midterm days. Caroline and I did the March of Dimes for premature babies. We walked five miles in the pouring rain basically and my poncho ripped. That wasn't fun. I ran the mile in gym and got twelve minutes. Which is good for me. I made Caroline a bracelet that said "someone loves my penis" but she broke it. It's okay. The merman story was finished. I cried. For a long time. But it was a happy cry, not a sad cry. If you want to know why it was happy you should read the story for yourself. I've also been sitting out in the sun and I've grown some more freckles. I was talking to Kevin (Pitts) on IM and I was like "Someone's pmsing" because he was basically throwing a conniption, then he was like "what if I am?" and I was like "well that would be weird, because you don't have a uterus. I hope." and he was like "I have a dickerus." It was pretty funny. Kevin is like retarded though. Just stuarting you. Speaking of Kevin, me and him were talking today about the hawk turtle. If you don't know who that is you should ask me so I can fill you in with this information. I don't have any updates on my theory of evolution, but I did watch this show about dolphins the other day because I was like "hm, I'll study up on dolphins so I can prove my theory correctly." then it was like these boy dolphins raping this other boy dolphin I was like =O! You could see their pee pees and everything it was pretty graphic. You know, I might have already said that in the last blog. Maybe not. I don't care.

..............camille is in my bed

I know that I haven't updated in a while and that's been due to a few things I guess: busyness, boredom, I'm stressed out, and I am sick. I've been doing stupid yard work with my mom like, ever single day and that's getting really annoying. Nothing interesting has happened since I last updated though. Kevin and I went to the farmer's market the other day and I kept eating random grapes and then he'd yell at me because they weren't paid for. Me and Mon made this like, plan. I don't remember all the details but I'm going to be like a drug dealer and I'm like going to import drugs from other countries, by putting them in Caroline's butt. Then when they get here Mon is going to get them to the people who like, ordered them. It's going to be a pretty good deal. After a while, we're going to sell Caroline as a slave or something and get all her money. Nothing interesting, other than that has happened I guess. Nope. Nothing.

sigh

music: Gettin' clean in the dirty south - Sparks the Rescue
mood: obsequious

I have a new theory about evolution. I don't have all of the like, um, like, steps planned out yet or anything, but I think we came from dolphins. Yes, I know it's crazy, but this morning at like 6:00AM I was watching this show about like, umm, I think it was like Hindu people maybe and like they showed the Ganges river, right? and then there was this thing so I was like "WHOA! people are scuba diving in the Ganges river, that is gross." because, you know, that's where the like Hindu people put all the ashes from people who die, so there's basically dead people in that River. Anyways, it turns out that the scuba diving person was not a person, it was a river dolphin. Of course, I always thought dolphin's lived in the ocean. But now, they can live in fresh water too. I should get one for my pool. Anyways, river dolphins are not like ocean dolphins, because like, they can bend. Like, the reason I thought it was a person when they were in the water is because it looks like it was bending at it's hips with it would go under water. And like, dolphins are really smart... and they're the only like, mammal or something that has sex for like, recreational purposes. Also, I saw an episode of the wild thornberries once where people were like.... dolphins. Anyways, it's pretty crazy I think. I know everyone's like "omg people evolved from monkey's blehblehbleh" well, I hate monkeys. They are disgusting.

another cog in the murder machine

Alex Miller and Caroline Reno

broke into my house

they did not have consent

Jessica is not consent

she is eight.

burn red and gold

music: cars going by on the street

mood: chilly

I think one of the things Illinois is known for is it's cold nights. It may be warm during the day, but at night the temperature just drops. Kind of like the desert. Jimmy insists on having the window fan on constantly, sucking the cold air in, and here I am... with a gigantic ugly maroon and puke green ten pound sweater on. And fuzzy pants. And like inch thick wool socks. I am in this really crappy mood and to make myself feel better I want to be listening to the cure, but Kevin's fucking laptop won't open windows media player. I want to rip my eyeballs out of my skull. Seriously, don't you ever get that feeling? When you just want to destroy your eyeballs? That's like 40% of my life. Anyways, it's pretty nice here besides the fact that it's cold. I mean, it just happens to be the greatest city in America in my opinion. It's supposed to be like 72 degrees tomorrow. That should be nice. I went to a few places today... Lincoln park, the navy pier... um. A gas station. I helped my Nani make pasta, because she makes her own pasta because she's like, a real Italian. Not that people who don't make their own pasta aren't really Italian... just, I mean, she's old. So, she makes her own pasta.

I decided that when I get back to Maine, I'm going to delete my myspace. Jimmy did too, because myspace is gay. And we'd rather be like emo loners and shit. But at least we're not like posing to be these like indie rock groupies that don't shower... so... yeah? cool? I'll be home Thursday. But I probably won't want to go out right away because I'll be tired. So don't ask.


end.

chicago travel blog

mood: tired

music: The Cure greatest hits cd.

right now, I am in the car. Kevin's car. It's a Lexus, you know, I told you that so you can create a mental image. Inside, there is me and Kevin, obviously. Also, muffin and bowie. Muffin is a Pomeranian and bowie is a chew wa wa. It's a fancy car, with leather seats. There is also a GPS thing. We are in New york when I am starting this blog, but I remember everything that I am going to write distinctly at the time it happened.

Hour 1, 7:00 PM, new Hampshire/Massachusetts: We've been driving for under an hour. I get to listen to my station on the radio and I am also talking to Mon, Camille, Julia and Natalie on Kevin's sidekick. There's not much to look at on the highway... just trees basically, and the occasional hitchhiker, who I tell Kevin to pick up every time and he refuses

Hour 2, 8:00 PM, I don't know where we are.. somewhere in Massachusetts maybe: I am tired and vulnerable. I need to get out and stretch my legs, but Kevin won't pull over. Muffin has to pee, I can tell. Not much has happened in hour two.

Hour 3, 9:00 PM, New York... maybe: I don't know why they can't just make a straight line that goes from Scarborough to Chicago. That would make traveling a lot easier. I don't care about trees. Most of my friends have abandoned me. All except for Camille, who never gets off the computer. I asked Kevin if he could stop in Connecticut to pick up Caroline. Too bad we already passed it. I am hungry, so we stopped at KFC, where Kevin went in to get me a mashed potato bowl. He's been in there for well over a fifteen minutes. I am thinking someone raped him, or he's flirting with someone. I am in the car alone with muffin and bowie. Bowie is looking particularly tasty right now. I haven't eaten since this time last night. Other than that jelly stick from this morning. That was old though, so it doesn't count. Natalie is calling me. I can tell she's upset by the sound of her voice. There is a man trying to get in the trash can in front of KFC and I need to pee. I am in a predicament. I decide that I need to pee, so I tell Natalie that I have to go and I go in there. Kevin is next in line at the counter. I tell him that I am peeing, and I go in the bathroom to go pee. I was worried, because there were other people in the bathroom, but I couldn't hold it. Bladder: 1, mind 0. Actually, mind: a lot.

Hour 4, 10:00 PM, I don't know.. Pennsylvania?: I am talking to Mon on the computer. Muffin and Bowie are trying to eat my mashed potato bowl. Kevin is now becoming very malicious. He slapped me because I was singing really loud. Earlier he bit me. He is becoming very abusive. I told Mon basically his whole life story, and how he is boring now because of it. I asked him what disease he had and he wouldn't tell me. I guess we are on a no talking basis now. I figured out his disease by myself though: pancreatitis. Which means inflammation of the pancreas. In case you didn't know that.

Hour 5, 11:00 PM, Pennsylvania is a big state: I attempted to throw muffin out the window because Kevin was ignoring me. That got his attention. He got mad though, and now muffin is sitting on his lap. We are not talking.

I am tired now. So I decided that I am taking a nap. If you've never seen the show, burn notice, you should Google image search it, because the main character guy is like, gorgeous. Seriously. his name is Jeffrey Donovan. Seriously. In some pictures he looks like, really goofy. But otherwise... hot. Seriously.

who got the love? who got the fresh-e-freshy?

mood: tedious
music: Hooch - Everything

Today is the first official day of vacation. I slept until 1:00. It's only because my sleeping schedule was very funny yesterday. I slept from four until about eight thirty. Then I woke up and watched the office and stuff, then I went back to sleep from about ten until one. Then I went on the computer and stuff until about four then I slept and woke up at one. And I have a terrible neck ache, by the way. At the mall today Mon kept telling me to look at stuff and I'd go to look, forgetting that my neck hurt and then I'd like break my neck. Yeah, me and Mon went to the mall today. It was pretty fun because it was like, Mon. And I love her. So yeah, we went there, and we went to all these different stores. Mostly like, hot topic, Spencer's, fye and Walden books. Because there was a book there that I wanted to read really bad. They didn't have it though, of course. Then we had smoothies and milkshakes. Mon got a cookie. Then I got taco bell and Mon got McDonald's. Then we were done and her mom came to pick us up. We were waiting outside, like, in front of the food court for her mom and we saw Mr. macisaac. Then when he like, walked away we were laughing and stuff. So then this like scene/emo girl that was probably like twenty and who was like forty feet away from us like, stopped and like all her friends walked away from her and she just like... stopped and was like "is something funny?" (and she had a really bitchy attitude) to me and Mon, who were laughing about seeing Mr. macisaac and all his friends and who didn't even notice all her and her gay little scene friends. so I'm like "what?" and she's just like "oh." but I think she still thought we were laughing at her because she like went up to all her little friends and like, pointed to us. so I was like "?". That made me and Mon laugh harder. Then her mom came and picked us up and we went home. That's all I have to write about at the moment. If I think of something else to write I'll probably... write it.

he's her chemical scream

Today is Thursday, also the first official day of vacation. I was so happy when I got home from school that I just like went to sleep when I got home. From like four until eight. No one woke me up for dinner though, so right now I'm having leftovers from last night because people ate all the food we had for dinner tonight. Whatever that was. Today we had to make a map of a like, I don't remember what it was. It was like this little middle ages village type thing. Anyways, me and Mon were making ours and she was coming up with all these weird names for her stuff. I think she had like, tangle wood forest or something and Inca village. I didn't name my stuff, but it's pretty amazing I think. I still have to color it and add the Fields and stuff. So I think some drama is going to go down over my vacation when I go to Chicago. Since it's just like me and my sister and stuff jimmy was like "oh, well I'm supposed to stay with you anyways so I'm gonna go there with you." so then max was like... "oh well since jimmy is going I should go too." so I think something is going to happen. If it does I'll update. Don't worry, okay? don't. This is supposed to be my vacation, and they are going to ruin it. They're probably going to give my Nani a heart attack.

I'm so behind. My goal was to write like six pages in my story (#4) and I'm only on page twenty seven which means I've only done two pages. I have like three parts that I need to expand on though, and I've already got it all planned out in my head. That will lengthen it and also make it a lot better I think. Obviously. I should really be working on my like, three papers that are due when I get back from vacation though, because if I don't finish those then I'm probably going to be in trouble. Right now, I cannot blog anymore because i am watching Ace of Cakes so I will talk to you later, skater.

iz writein yew a choreus. here iz yer vurse.

tuday I akshully did mai algebrauh homewerk. it was teh furst time evr mebbe. i had a neyec fud aftur skool. ice creem. i was leik NOM NOM NOM. i want a nudder 1 but has noe moar moneys. allso went 2 pquod aftur skool and saw ppls. nao i wnts a kitteh 2 make purrito. yew can has 2 if yew want. i can shares. there was a hoomin man at teh liebraree aftur skool allso he had raybeez mebbe. tylur kaidun is a YNG. which meens yung nekkid guy. that iz all i has fur nao. yew shuld come bak tumorro mebbe.

I'm deep with futures like Chicago

Kay so today we watched a movie in world studies. That did not involve peni, so there was no point in watching it. So I just stole mon's planner and wrote all this stuff in it. It was funny. Her planner smells like her, which is a good smell. Speaking of Mon, we just had a whole lolcat conversation over aim. I'll copy and paste it if you want.

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: we has cheezburgers

urban lifexdecay: no you be steelin my cheezburger

urban lifexdecay: itz my cheezburger

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: not yurs

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: i can has.

urban lifexdecay: i noe shares

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: ceiling cat doez not approves

urban lifexdecay: haha

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: you goes to basemunt

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: lol

urban lifexdecay: i can play wit basemunt cat

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: in firey pit of d00m

urban lifexdecay: oh noes!

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: and still you can't has mai cheezburger.

urban lifexdecay: plz?!

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: if you give teh walrus his bukkit bak

urban lifexdecay: I NO HAS BUKKIT!

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: fine

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: we splits cheezburger

urban lifexdecay: kthnksby

Xx SoxGrl xX 33: hahahahaha

It's probably the longest human lolcat conversation in history. Actually, probably not but that's okay. Me and Mon are Incan lolcats. We witnessed hundreds of our kind slaughtered on the movie in world studies today. A peice of my heart broke off. I wished it was more about peni thoguh, because peni makes everything so much more interesting. idk but miserylovedme over at livejournal is going to create a hooker AU story. It's going to be great I think, because, well, I love those stories. Guilty pleasure, right there. There isn't much left to blog about I guess, except that vacation is coming up and I am so excited. Seriously, like, I am going to sleep like the whole time. The WHOLE time. I mean it. You wish you had a best friend that looked like this:

the blood in your veins is twenty below

Mood: scrunchy

Music: not good enough for a true cliche - escape the fate

The merman story was uploaded. It was probably the greatest chapter out of all of them, because, they did it. Did it as in... did it. I was so excited when I went to go click on it because... I mean, waiting for the merman story was like, the most toughest, most agonizing thing in my whole entire life. Actually, it's not over yet, so I'm still in pain until the next chapter is posted. Which will be in approximately three days. Possibly two. I'm so excited.

So most of you probably don't know who Tyler Kayden is. Except Caroline, Monica and possibly Julia. Anyways, Tyler Kayden is a gay emo porn star. Yes, you heard right. Not anything unusual though, because, I mean, me an Caroline are odd people. As you probably already know. Anyways, he's really amazing and he looks like this person from our school. I'm not going to say his name for confidential purposes, I'm just saying. Like, identical twins. Possibly. Except the person that he looks like is a ginger, and Tyler Kayden is not a ginger. Obviously. As you can probably see in his picture. Actually, he's a natural brunette. Yep. He's really adorable. I had to crop his butt out of the picture, because photobucket always makes me take it off because it's inappropriate. And most of you probably wouldn't want to see that anyways. So, I'm signing off. Right now. That's all, folks.

I'f you don't know by now i'm talkin' 'bout chi town

mood: cool yo

music: She's So High - Tal Bachman

Xx SoxGrl xX 33 (9:36:19 PM): you've broadened my horizons... <- I take this quote as a definite compliment. It is from our dear friend Mon (lookitsmon.blogspot.com), and she's talking about how me and Caroline Reno teach her dirty stuff. Like that women that have babies sometimes eat the placentas, or about all the different types of gay porn stars. And about how semen glows under blacklights. And how to skim books for dirty parts at the speed of light. Mon, and countless other people have benefited so much from us. It's pretty great, you know, being such a great information source.

these situations are irrelevant now

mood: melancholy

music: Homecoming - Kanye West (ft Chris Martin)

From yesterday at 1:45 PM, until this morning at 11:00 AM I was graced with the presence of Caroline Reno. First we went to p quod and we chilled with Ms. Kaufman, Ms. Blain and Mrs. White (she was only for part of the time because she left). That was pretty sweet and stuff. We bought bugles and skittles and vitamin water. Then when we left there we went to the library to drop Caroline's books off, then we went back to my house and from there we left to go to the mall. We wreaked havoc basically. My cousin Matt also came. We went to Courtney's kiosk and she told Caroline that she was going to tell the security guard that she had five pounds of cocaine in her butt. I thought that was pretty funny. Aunt Ethel was there. She's really old, I don't know her actual age or anything, but she was born in 1934. So that makes her really old. 74 I think, but I just did that in my head. It's probably wrong. Anyways, she's really cool. She has a boyfriend I guess and she had Courtney peirce her ears, like, the top part. At the mall I bought blue and black eyeliner. I bought Caroline green eyeliner. Then we decided it was time to go... no, actually I we didn't really decide we were going to leave, my gram was there to pick us up. So from the mall we went to Auntie Sandra's house because nan had to bring something to Grampie or something. That wasn't too interesting. Then we went to auntie Cathrine's and stayed there for like a half hour. I put my blue eyeliner on Matt. He looked really... Vietnamese prostitute-ish. Then me and Caroline came back to my house and we like watched Superbad and slept on my couch and then we woke up and watched southpark then the amityville horror and stuff. Then she left. Now I'm here. That's enough about last night.

Yesterday at school I had to sit in Mrs. Ketch's office for like three hours. Why? Because people never excuse my absences. That was a waste of a day, except Curran was in there and he's like "Why am I here? I didn't do anything wrong!" He was like flipping out. It was funny. That's all I have to talk about today. Sorry it was so boring.

toes are a luxury, not a right

I hate people who can't spell. Or people that don't use proper grammar. Or people who use aim slang in everyday life, like, u, r, tho, wat, 4, 2, and countless others. It just bugs me so much. The only site where words like that are acceptable is lolcats. Or, icanhascheezburger.com. Those cats are so hilarious. Anyways, when I was reading creedthoughts today, he was talking about how toes are a privilege. I totally agree with him. Be thankful that you have toes, I think people take them for granted.
I think someone needs to do something about the Internet. I've been trying to listen to the song Country Grammar by Nelly and none that I try are working. I'm seriously getting like, pissed off. This is B.S. Oh no, wait, one that I just clicked on worked. Never mind. I'm like, singing now. I love this song.
Today in math we looked at pictures of rods (that's what she said). They are these things that can't be seen by the human eye, and they're like wiggly and some of them look like vagina's. They're really weird, but I don't think they're real. Mon thinks that they're just bugs or something, and they do look like bugs. That's probably what they are, except, Mr. Banks showed us a picture of one that was about four feet long and I've never seen a bug that big. If I ever saw a bug that big I'd probably have a heart attack, because I do not like bugs and I giant one would just be too much.
Do you know what a jackalope is? It's this cute little bunny with deer antlers. I would like one for a pet or something, if I like, filed the antlers down so they wouldn't stab me. Of course, they're on the cryptozoology list. Which means they're probably not real. They're just like bigfoot, or the loch ness monster, or el chupacabra. This great little link (http://ww2.lafayette.edu/~hollidac/jacksforreal.html) will take you to pictures of bunnies infected with the Shope papillomavirus. Which makes them have funny things grow off their heads. It's kind of creepy actually, but, well, I don't think I'd want one as a pet anymore actually. You can have one if you want.

Okay you guys. This is a thylacine. Isn't it frigging like, amazing? Do you see the size of it's jaw gape? That's not a drawing. It's an actual picture of it. Of course, it's also on the cryptozoology list. It was an actual animal, but it's extinct now. I guess it's a marsupial, and it's other name is the Tasmanian tiger, because it has like, tiger stripes on it's back. I think it's pretty cool. I used to be obsessed with them back in like, third grade, but not anymore. People think that they still exist, and if someone captures it or something, they'll get a $100,000 reward. I think I'm going to go try to find it, but of course, I've had other plans to go find other animals on the cryptozoology list, but those never seem to work. I was going to get some sort of fishing vessel to find Nessie last year, and did I? No. The fucking boat cost $4,000.

rescue 911 donuts/I can be your john cusack

Today I woke up and it was sunny. I wanted it to rain. It was okay though, because I spent most of today inside anyways. I went on a field trip to a power plant. It was fun. I bitched people out, I won't name names of course, but, you know, well, you don't know. Julia knows and I think mon knows too. It was good. I felt good. I had a dream last night about Pete Wentz. It was not the kind of dream you'd hope for when there's Pete Wentz involved, because caroline was there. Okay I don't remember much of it but okay he owned a greeting card company...? and he used the lyrics from his songs as the little things you put inside them. Then I went and like, bought one and inside it said "i can be your john cusack." and I gave it to caroline... for some reason. idk why. It was different. At least it's not like some of her dreams. I'm not going to write about them. At the moment, broc is telling me about his dream, about rescue 911 donuts. They sound very tasty:

broc olli: man I want some rescue 911 donuts
urban lifexdecay: what's that?
broc olli: oh man
broc olli: so gooood
broc olli: I dreamed about them last night
broc olli: im gonna start producing them
broc olli: theyre gonna be like coffee cakes yet honey dipped
broc olli: have some variations with creme filling
urban lifexdecay: thats awsome
urban lifexdecay: do it
broc olli: coffee cakes are the food of the future
broc olli: and then i could make it like smoothie king and start adding protein to them
broc olli: put dunkin donuts right off the radar
broc olli: with my vodka coollatas
urban lifexdecay: your outa control
broc olli: tell me you wouldnt want an rescue 911 donut
urban lifexdecay: I wouldn't want a rescue 911 donut

that was me and broc talking about rescue 911 donuts. You should try them sometime when they become invented. That's all I have to say about today so, maybe, check in tomorrow.

........ Kevin Pitts

I was basically delirious in the car ride home tonight. I don't know what was going on. The sky was purple and the clouds were black and I remember looking up kind of and saying "I can see Florida." Keep in mind I was not on any type of medication (other than the regular ones) and I hadn't been doing any drugs because.. I don't do drugs. I had this really bad headache though. It wasn't bad enough to be a migraine but it was like, borderline. I don't know. I don't remember anything else from the ride home tonight though, it was weird. Now I'm sitting here typing this.
School was great today. Actually, it really wasn't but that's okay. Math was first, and obviously, math is a pretty gay subject. I mean, homosexual. Gym was okay, I must say I was probably the best volleyballer on my team, being one of the only people that hit it over the net more than once. English was okay. Lunch sucked as usual, but while I was walking down the stairs Kevin comes up to me and starts singing that like 'mickey' song. Like, with the cheer leading, and he sang it basically all the way into the cafeteria. That brightened my mood. Then we had science which was retarded, as usual. Kevin was being a buttface, although I was talking about him being emo and he's like "I'm not emo. I like my wrists, I'd rather keep the blood inside them." as he like, rubs his wrists together. It was really hilarious. Then we had world studies and we went to the library to work on our research papers. I have to do mine in Beowulf because of course, there were no topics left when I went to go pick mine. So I have to do that. If you've ever read Beowulf you'd probably know that it's pretty boring. I researched for like an hour and stuff, and of course, Kevin was sitting next to me and being annoying. He asked me like eight times if his thesis was interesting, then I poked his elbow (which had an X on it because nikole put it there) and I was like "x marks the spot there's treasure in there!" He laughed. It was funny.
I don't think people (Mon) understand that I have problems publicly peeing. Like, when there's other people in the bathroom I just can't go. Like, I might want to go but like, my body just like, shuts off and I can't go pee. It's very annoying sometimes.
I hugged Jon O. like eight times today because his birthday is tomorrow. I don't think he liked that idea too much, but I did =)

reconstruct a heart that's torn apart from overexposure

I went to Natalie house for the afternoon today. It was really fun. We went outside and played:



We watched sweeney todd and ate dinner, then we ate popcorn with really good stuff on it. I dont' remember what it was called. I don't have pictures from sweeney todd, but I do have pictures from the ride home:



I also have a picture of my babies that I took home after her mom dropped me off:



I just thought that I'd share these all with you, because they're quite amusing in my opinion

those watermelon smiles just can't ripen under water

I'm buying a hedgehog. Until I get around to doing that I have a virtual one named Kirby. As you can probably see. You can play with him (if you click him three times he makes a little ball and bounces around) and you can also feed him strawberries. I also updated my profile.
I have a new April's resolution and that is to eat lettuce. It sounds pretty weird to the common person, I know, but I needed some type of goal to set to keep myself busy and Max said that eating lettuce was a perfect thing to do because lettuce is in just about all good foods - he says. I don't like foods with lettuce in it because I don't like lettuce, but he says that you can't, and he's referring to me when he says this, have a salad at pizza hut with just cottage cheese, cucumbers, croutons and ranch dressing. And you can't have a taco (referring to the food not the vagina) with just burger, sour cream, olives and cheese. He says that it's just not normal. I think that even though it's not normal there's nothing wrong with it. Anyways, April resolution = eat lettuce. May is probably going to be tomatoes, even though I probably won't be able to do that because tomatoes are disgusting and I don't know how anyone can ever eat them. Same with beating cobra hearts and bats. Those are gross. Gross to eat at least, I like bats when they're not being eaten... they're pretty cool. And cobra's are like my fave. That's what I did for my canopic in ceramics.
Mom got new memory foam slippers that I have basically claimed as my own. They're so comfortable. I've been wearing them for like, four days straight. Besides when I go to school. I even wear them to bed and everything. They're great. I have this weird thing where if me feet are comfortable then the rest of me is comfortable.
today I stole Mon's 'hottie' Jared padalecki book. For a few seconds I really think she didn't know where it was and went into a complete state of panic. She said that she was going to ask to go to her locker, but then she looked back (like a half hour into class, mind you) and I was holding it up and I was like "HOSTAGE!". Somehow my mp3 player ended up in her binder, which was probably a dead giveaway to her that I had taken it. I don't remember bringing my mp3 player over there. I think Kevin might have. He probably did, you know, because he loves to just take my stuff. Also today in school there was this like condom sign thing in the bathroom and it's like "safe entry." that's probably going to be my new phrase from now on.
While I was walking home from school I was like, going by the field and there was a dollar bill just randomly sitting in a puddle. I was like ? but then I waited for all of the cars to go by and I went and grabbed it. It's basically dried out by now but seriously, it was pretty sweeto. I'm like "god loves me."

my mental fatigue is overwhelming

So I read this story today while I was talking to Natalie on the computer. It was slash (obviously) and it involved Patrick Stumph and Pete wentz and Pete was a merman. It was really really cute and I'm basically obsessed with it right now. But that's beside the point. I feel like an obnoxious fangirl right now. Ew.

My brain basically feels like it's going to implode. It's not the kind of implode when you sleep too much. It's the kind well, okay, I like to think of my brain as a computer. Computers are stored with a certain amount of memory and when all of your computer memory is used up it runs really slow and has a hard time functioning. That's what my brain feels like right now basically. Like, I need to clean it out. I have all this information that is completely useless. Like my ability to quote whole scenes from movies like say anything and fight club and the chumscrubber. Actually, max said the ones from say anything are quite useful when I want to get some ass. Too bad I'm not a guy. And don't really want any ass. I'm more of an eyes kind of person anyways. This weekend I have done nothing but play the Sims 2. Actually, I went outside today for a bit because it was gorgeous. In my opinion it was the first 'springy' day we've had this year. I kept my window open for the whole day Because it was just springish outside. That makes me happy. Spring and fall are probably my favorite two seasons because they're not too hot and not too cold. Summer is way hot and way overwhelming. Too much is going on usually and I just hate humidity. Winter is okay I guess, I like cold. Uncle Rich says it's good sleeping weather and like people who are close to me know, I enjoy sleeping, a lot. It's my favorite hobby.

I like when I'm eating something and find two things stuck together. Like two skittles, or two cheese its. It's like an extra special bonus. You can share them with your biff, or you can just eat them yourself. I like sharing them with people because it brings me closer to that person. Speaking of biffs, Max and Broc were trying to find something to watch on the tv today and so they go by the discovery health channel and there's this pregnancy show. Broc goes: "Whoa, let's watch this." you know, thinking they're going to get some taco action or something. Well, what they saw will scar them for the rest of their lives. Natalie said it probably turned them both gay.

whoa

yes, this is what I am writing about today. the man who is pregnant. I was in the bathroom putting my eyeliner on this mourning and I hear Courtney in the living room and she's like "whoa. a guy is pregnant." so naturally, I was like "nu uh." but yes. he is pregnant. technically, he's a woman well not really actually. I'm sure the men with sex reassignment surgery don't like being called women. I guess he used to be a woman (<--- you can tell that he's a woman. look how big his nips are.)but then didn't want to be one anymore so now he's a man. If I was a man, hypothetically speaking, okay, if I was a man and I was having all that morning sickness missed period shit I wouldn't think to like, go get a pregnancy test and take it. But he did, anyways, back with my story because I kind of got off track, okay, if I was a man and was having all that pregnancy stuff happen- WHOA WAIT! if I was a man I wouldn't be having my period because men don't get their period so... this is too much for me. OKAY, so disregarding whether he gets his period or whatever so I'd go to the store and I'd get one of those little things that you pee on. Then I'd pee on it... with my penis (even though I'm sure this guy didn't have a penis because he was like made with a vagina. and I was watching this show about sex reassignment surgery on the tv and the guy was like "it's easier to dig a hole than make a pole... ANYWAYS)... and then it would show up blue or with a little plus sign or something then I'd go and read the directions and be like "okay hmmm what does little blue plus sign mean?" then I'd see what it meant and then it would say positive. then I'd just be like "shit."

Anyways, I guess i'm happy for this guy because he said that he was happy that he was pregnant. A lot of people are like "ew no blehblehbleh gross.." but idk. I mean, idk. I'm just like. Whoa. pregnant man.

Drop Beats Not Bombs

So, it's easter and we're getting ready to go to aunties in literally like, ten minutes but I thought that I'd update this because I probably won't get a chance to later or anything because I'll be playing the sims. So, yeah, it's easter. Back to that. It's only 12:07 and I've already got like $30+... so that's good. I need to get the new P!ATD cd. Why? Becuase it's going to be amazing. I also have to possibly get one of the sims expansion packs because.... that's going to be amazing too.

I went to the mall with Caroline on Friday. That was pretty good, even though we were only there for a little under two hours. I got the old Motion City Soundtrack CD, new headphones, a P!ATD poster and some tacos. Do you know taco is another word for vaginasc? There's a whole funny story behind that, but I'm not going to tell about it because it's kind of disturbing. There were a lot of it's at the mall (an it is a person that looks like a boy and a girl at the same time) It was really weird because some of them, if they were guys, were pretty hot.

I'm really really sick right now. Which is weird because I don't get sick. Ever. Like, I mean, I'll get stomach aches and stuff but I never throw up. The last time I did was on thanksgiving break last year when we were on vacation. That sucked. Anyways, I don't like being sick and even though I'm actually sick this time, mom still won't let me stay home. I hate going to school more than basically anything in the whole entire universe. I just want it to be over.

what a world

I made a list of people I could live without. There were a lot of people on it... like, a lot of people. I contemplated putting "you know who" on it, but then if "you know who" ever saw it she'd probably be pissed. I didn't put Nick on it, because he keeps me amused. I only put people that I actually talk to though, like, someone that I've said more than like, a sentence too.
I wish people would stop telling me about all their gay problems because, you know, I have my own. If you don't get a response to me about things then chances are, I don't care. Which... you know, I usually don't care about other people but that doesn't mean you should feel bad. I might still love you. I just don't care about all of your problems.
We got this new shampoo and I think it's supposed to smell like strawberries but it smells kind of like salt and I ran my hand through my hair and now that smells like salt and salt isn't the best smell ever, you know. We also have irish springs bar soap and that obviously smells amazing so they kind of cancel eachother out.
I'm downloading a bunch of sim people and I'm going to have us all live in this house and it's going to be pretty crazy. I'm going to especially, before I do anything else, make a mon sim. Why? because Mon was not on the people I could live without list becuase I cannot live without her. Even in sim land. Seriously. And maybe if she's lucky I'll make a Jared Padalecki sim for her to have babies with.

end.

take it easy (love nothing)

so more about ancient peni. I know that I talk about it too much but it's not my fault people back then were obsessed with it. Mrs. Welch was showing us pictures from when she went to Rome and Pompeii and I guess that the people there thought that peni was good luck. So everyone had a statue of one outside their house. And whenever they'd leave they would rub the peni for good luck. I just basically burst out laughing while she was talking about it. I mean, put it all together. "Rub the peni for good luck!" No. I will not. I will not rub the peni. Why? that is wrong. The people in Pompeii were also whores, like, literally. They were considered a brothel city. Which means like. Whores. Anyways, enough about the peni whores. School today sucked ass. Why? everyone in A lunch are fucking annoying pieces of shit. That's why. In case you were wondering.

I kind of wanted to go on the school trip to Paris and London next year because it sounds really fun. Except it's roughly $2,500... so that's a negative. Waste of money. I do need to get a job though... like, badly. I need money. That's why. I owe the library like $15. It sucks pretty bad because I can't get my report card until I pay it and I don't have the $15 to pay it at the moment. So no report card. I would like to just have money on me all the time though. That would be really cool. I hate being dependant on other people for money and stuff.

that joke isn't funny anymore

it's three oh-fucking-clock in the morning and why aren't I sleeping? I'll tell you why. I never sleep. I've tried everything to make myself sleep and nothing is happening. I do certain things so frequently they wear off and don't work anymore. & I'm sitting here in my bedroom, bored and sick as hell, listening to the smiths because I don't have anything better to be doing with my life.

I'm tired of people talking about how bad their fake anxiety is, because until you're had a real anxiety attack you know nothing. That's getting really annoying.

I just watched this show on the national geographic channel about Atlantis and if it was really real or not. I'd like to believe it's real, because one time I had a dream about me and Max discovering it. Like, I don't even know, we were scuba diving or something and we found a city...? that's what I remember of the thing. Also, we came up and were on this boat and were like "We discovered Atlantis! Whoa!" Anyways, that's beside the point. All the people on the show were like: "Atlantis was never there, blehblehbleh." Well I've got news for you. YES IT WAS.

I didn't go to school today. Why? because I couldn't even get out of bed because I was so sick. Then dad was here for some reason and he was like, slapping me in the head, trying to get my temperature and was like "You don't look very sick. How did you get your mom to let you stay home?" I just shrugged, then went back to bed. And slept until about two. Then I wrote some more in my story, then I laid back down and played my game boy. Then me and max watched some movies (Alice in wonderland, James and the giant peach, beetlejuice ext..)

anyways, I'm going to go play some more game boy and try to sleep. I'll probably update tomorrow with something uninteresting about my uninteresting life.

watch your mouth, your speech is slurred enough

I don't have much to write about today. besides, like, the Romans. we watched this time life movie about them today and I was like, well, if they're anything like the Greeks they'll probably be interesting. because the Greeks were interesting people, believe it or not. anyway, the only remotely interesting thing about the Romans was that they were whores. and that gladiator also means erect penis, which associates the roman gladiators with erect peni. I fell asleep during the last fifteen minutes of the movie, then I'd keep waking up and checking my watch and realizing that I'd only been sleeping for about thirty seconds. also, during lunch me and Kayla went and left notes for Mon and Kelley, because we're secretive like that.

I'm definitely heading out to see Horton hears a Who next Friday. why? because it looks amazing basically. I used to be obsessed with Dr. Seuss, believe it or not. and in the movie there's this emo who named Jojo, so, that'll be cool.

I usually go to Sam when I think I have a medical condition. he's usually wrong about most of the stuff, but sometime he's right. his mom is a nurse. although, one time I told him that my skin was becoming transparent. he said that I was turning into a goldfish. never mind about this whole thing that I was just going to talk about because Samuel Bagala is not a reliable source.

I am cozy because I have fuzzy pants. goodnight.

the best part of believe is the lie

Mrs. Sherman isn't happy about the 'inappropriate' picture that I drew on my 'who killed the electric car' movie notes. I don't understand why... it was a good picture, I mean, like, raping is a very serious matter but when it involves tony lavato and pete wentz it's not that serious because you know that they both want it. badly. it's not like it was graphic or anything. there were no penises. is that the plural for penis? or is it like, peni? like... cacti. I think peni is a little less dangerous that cacti though, because cacti hurt. I have this mini cactus, and one time it was dark in my room and I was feeling around for the light switch and accidentally grabbed it. note to self: do not put cactus near light switch.

today I basically sat in my bedroom and watched all the harry potters. because my life is the saddest one you will ever know. but I think, well, at least I'm not like certain people I know who are trying to be people that they really aren't. that's annoying.

this week is my help week. Monday is going to be environment help, where I clean my room. Tuesday is going to be family help, where I'm not going to start any fights. Wednesday is going to be stinky help, where I give stink a bath and pedicure. Thursday is going to be academic help, where I get caught up on homework and stuff. and Friday is going to be self help. where I relax. it's going to be pretty nice I think, 'cause all of that stuff needs lots of help, really.

my story is coming along well, but I started a new one that I think has a better storyline. I write good story lines. I've got about two zillion in the back of my mind just waiting to be put on paper. I just don't get around to it, because I'm lazy. very lazy.

I'm tired of people just talking to me or being nice to me because they want something from me. like a cd or something. well, I'll tell you what, I'm not going to be doing any special shit for anyone unless they're: Max, Camille, Josh, Brock, Riley,Jimmy, Julia, Natalie, Shannon, Caroline, or Mon. because I've fucking had it with everyone else.

so it's valentines day, right? everyone's all lovelovelove I love you and stuff. Even meee, which is different. Joshua. Anyways, I don't like talking about valentines day becuase it's super tacky and disgusting and gross. Me and Mon went to p-quod today and we hung out with ms. kaufman which was nice because I love her. She said that the world wasn't going to end in 2012. I was relieved. Then I walked home through the woods and now I'm here. Talking to Julia. Not much has happened in the past few weeks I guess, at least nothing remotely interesting. Except, me and max think that riley and jimmy are like having gay buttsex. On account of, Jimmy is staying with Max and so Riley was there I guess and so Riley was in the guest bedroom and Jimmy was on the couch then I guess max got up to get some milk and jimmy wasn't on the couch then he walked to rileys room and there were funny noises. So he's like talking to me, right, on aim and he's like... wait, I'll just paste the conversation.

maxy pad 187: I was just waiting

maxy pad 187: idk what was going on in there

maxy pad 187: it sounded very sexual, like sex moans.

urban lifexdecay: well if jimmy and riley were fucking, that'd be the day...

urban lifexdecay: jimmy's not even gay though

urban lifexdecay: he's like. the straightest person out of all the guys in our whole group

maxy pad 187: thanks

urban lifexdecay: you're like the last person on the straighest person list. Sorry.

maxy pad 187: there is no need for bitchiness.

urban lifexdecay: I'm not being bitchy!

maxy pad 187: WHATEVER! okay, maybe they were just like massaging eachother.

urban lifexdecay: you know, that's probably it.

maxy pad 187: but like, what if they were doing it up the butt???

urban lifexdecay: what does it even matter max? are you mad becuase jimmy won't fuck you?

maxy pad 187: SHUT UP WHORE!

anyways, yeah, riley and jimmy might be fucking. That would be really weird, you know? like. weird.

beautiful release

I'm sitting here in my bedroom thinking about what the hell to write about in this god forsaken post, but you know what? there is nothing to write about because my life is a complete and total waste. I get up, go to school, come home and daydream mostly, then I go back to sleep. And I basically love every minute of it. Just because my life is extremely boring doesn't mean that I have to hate it. What I do is revolve my life around other things and people, then it's okay sometimes. I pay attention to what they do and take in their feelings, then everything is okay because I think 'well, at least I'm doing something with myself.'

hakuna matata

whelp. yep. midterms. They suck pretty bad but Ms. Ruhman's dad died so she wasn't there today so we just cheated anyways. The math one was okay... there were about 65 problems so each one was probably worth 1.5384615384615384615384615384615 (repeating). Yeah, dashboard calculator. So, if I get one wrong that will only be 1.5384615384615384615384615384615 taken off of a 100 point grade. I don't think it will be that bad. On a better note, my birthday's coming up. Presents are greatly appreciated. You don't have to get me a present though... just.... you know... presents? Yeah. We were going over our science midterm and every time Ms. Sherman would say 'petroleum' Kevin would say 'jelly'. It kind of reminded me of the conversation I had a long time ago with Jenni Milling about petroleum jelly used as old people lube.
Maxwell is forming a list of things that are a dead give away for gay people who are 'in the closet, but want to stay in the closet.' the 8th thing on the list is buying lube by the crate full. That one made me laugh pretty hard.
that's Wentz/Beckett love. I made it in art club.
I was sitting in my room and I was playing with a lighter and it basically exploded and the butane got all over me and it smelled weird... now my room smells weird.
We have that magnet on my refrigerator. I guess that's it for today: overwhelmed. Midterms and new schedules and not getting enough sleep.